Just Deserts
by thecivilunrest
Summary: Aliens had eaten Artemis' brain. It was the only explanation.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything that's recognizable.

**A/N: **Written for **GhostDragon02 **because she won the icon contest over at the WallyArtemisFanclub (the first fanclub for the Wally/Artemis pairing on dA, and yes, I am co-founder if you hadn't realized that by my shameless plugging.)

And I do have something to say about Wally's characterization in this story. It's my personal belief that Wally isn't very popular at school. For instance in the episode _Infiltrator _he seemed to really really hate school. Which is understandable, of course, because school really bites. But after a long summer isn't it nice, sometimes, to see all your friends again? (Unless, of course, you have no friends.)

Also in the episode that I just mentioned he got all of those dodgeballs thrown at him in gym class for pretty much no reason. I'm thinking that the kids don't like him very much. And so I'm using that evidence for the smidgen of truth that might be lurking somewhere in this story.

Jesus this is a long Author's Note. I'm just going to shut up now.

_Just Deserts_

"Oops, sorry, didn't see you there."

A burst of laughter followed this untrue statement and Wally's hands curled into fists, the pebbles from the concrete digging into his palms, and he took a deep breath. The urge to turn around and punch the guys behind him until they needed plastic surgery blazed through him but the speedster decides just to get up and keep walking.

_Just ignore them and eventually they'll get tired of bothering you._ Wally parroted his mother's advice in his mind but he had thought them so much that day that they had ceased to have any meaning long ago.

Today had not been Wally's day. In fact, a lot of days really weren't Wally's days but they rarely got this bad anymore, once he had graduated from Junior High and the speedster had become less skinny and freckled.

His backpack had ripped on the way to school and the only bag that was big enough- and avaliable- in the whole entire house had been this obnoxiously red and yellow piece of Flash merchandise which his family kept around the house to deflect suspicion. So he'd carried the stupid bag to school, knowing the whole time that he had just created a scarlet and saffron dartboard on his back.

Once at school, where as soon as they saw what kind of bag he was wearing his classmates began to laugh at him, he realized that he had forgotten about a Spanish test which he had flunked with flying colors, and in Chemistry he had been paired with one of the hottest babes in school only to have her ask, loudly, if she could get paired with someone who was less of a _loser_.

And now this girl's boyfriend, who, naturally, was a member of the basketball and track teams, and his cronies pushed him down in front of the school which was over for the day.

If only these chumps knew how fast he was, faster than any of them. If only they knew that he could punch them so quick and so fast that they would be begging for him to stop and crying for their mothers.

At times like these it was hard for Wally to keep his mouth shut because he wanted inform them that one day he'd be the savior of the whole world and that one day all they would be is washed up nobody's that drank too much beer and beat their wives.

The speedster wanted to tell them that he was part of the reason that they were still _breathing _and had nice, safe places to live.

He'd like to tell them to go to hell. He'd even give them directions. It was obviously underneath high school.

But he couldn't. For one thing he couldn't use his powers against civilians and for another he couldn't blow his secret identity. So he was stuck between a rock and Loserville.

Squaring his shoulders and taking another deep breath Wally just continued walking home and hoping that they'd just leave him the hell alone. He just had to think about how, later, he would be going to Mt. Justice where there would hopefully be a mission waiting for him so he could channel some of this frustration.

"Where are ya goin'?" the tallest of the idiots behind him asked. "Are you goin' to visit your _boyfriend_?"

"I'll bet," one of the others said, answering for Wally because he knew that the red head wasn't going to respond anyway, "that he's going to go make out with his Flash poster, the fanboy. He's probably got a crush on him."

"Or on Kid Flash. He's about our age, isn't he? Probably goes to school somewhere around here. I'll bet that's who he's got the hots for."

These stupid kids had no idea what they were talking about, who they were dealing with. Not feeling very much like himself at all Wally turned around, not sure what he was going to say but he was sure as hell going to say something. In that moment he wouldn't have been sad if these losers melted off the face of the Earth and never came back. They had picked the wrong day to mess with him.

If they had done this on any other day he would have just pretended that they didn't exist but that wasn't happening today.

The speedster opened his mouth to suggest to them just exactly in their anatomy they could put their lame insults but he never even had the chance. "Wally!"

The voice, which was oddly famailar was coming from somewhere behind the group that was currently taunting him and Wally knew that it was probably someone _else _coming to make fun of him which was just abso-freaking-lutely fantastic.

"There you are," the voice continued and all of a sudden Wally knew whose voice that was. It was _Artemis_. What was _she _doing here? Knowing her she would probably join in with these goons. _Great_. "I've been looking all over for you!"

It was then that the speedster noticed two things. One, Artemis nevertalked to him, or anyone, in that chirpy tone of voice. And two she never _ever _looked that happy to see him. _No one_ ever looked that happy to see him.

The only explanation that Wally could see was mind alteration. He would have to get her away from the group of idiots and then figure out what the heck was going on with her.

"Don't tell me that this is your _girlfriend_, West," one of the boys guffawed. "She's too hot for you."

"He probably pays her."

"You know it he does. I mean there's no way that..." they all paused and looked Artemis up and down, "a babe like her would ever date someone like _him_."

Artemis scoffed with scorn that sounded more like her than before. "Please. Wally and I have been dating for the last six months, haven't we?" The blonde batted her eyelashes at Wally as she laced her fingers through his. The boys behind them looked almost as stunned as he felt.

Aliens had eaten Artemis' brain. It was the only explanation.

Wally couldn't even think of anything to say. Maybe the alien disease that Artemis had was contagious because the speedster's brain turned to mush as he grasped for something to say. To give him a hint Artemis widened her eyes at him, something that the goons didn't see, and all of a sudden he knew that she was just _pretending _for his sake.

Oh _thank God_. He was seriously starting to wonder about her.

"Yeah, we have. Hey, Beautiful, how have you been doing?"

Artemis giggled, bringing her free hand up to her mouth, and Wally almost dropped dead from shock. Who knew that Artemis could even make that sound? "Better now that I'm with you again! I haven't seen you in a week and I've _missed _you!"

At this point Wally couldn't help but think that she was laying it on kind of thick- but then again she always had been an appalling liar and by extension couldn't act to save her life- but their audience seemed to be eating it all up, eyes wide and mouths gaping.

"I've missed you too," he mumbled, giving her a kiss on the cheek without thinking which caused blood to rush to both of their cheeks. Artemis giggled again, sounding less sure of herself this time. "Do you guys mind?" Wally asked the troupe of tormenters who were still gaping.

Evidently they were more convinced by Artemis' crappy performance than the speedster would have been. "Yeah, man," the leader said. "Whatever. Come on, let's go." He waved his hand and as loyal as a pack of dogs the others followed.

As soon as they were a good distance away Artemis dropped his hand like it was on fire and took a step back. "You looked like you were going to kill them," she said quietly by way of explanation, "so I decided to stop you. It wouldn't look good on your resume if the League found out that you harmed civilians."

Wally wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he said nothing. There was none of the obnoxious, sarcastic Kid Flash in him right now. Right then, standing in front of Artemis was the downtrodden and picked upon Wally West.

This was why he felt 'naked' in his civies, because the boy that wore them wasn't anyone that someone would want to save them.

"Yeah, I imagine that would probably get me kicked off the team, actually."

Artemis opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. Wally didn't want to know what she was going to say now that she knew that he was as much of a loser as she had always claimed. Then she said something that surprised him.

"_Please _don't tell me that you wear that backpack to school every day." It was obvious that she was trying to change the subject.

The speedster took the bait that she was dangling right in front of his nose."What, this old thing?" Wally asked, fingering one of the obnoxiously red straps as if he didn't know what she was talking about. "What's wrong with it?"

"Buying your own merchandise is just so... _tacky_."

"I like it!" Wally protested, lying. He never would have worn the bag to school if he'd had another option. "Besides, I don't hear you telling Superboy that!"

"That's not merchandise for Super_boy_ it's for Super_man_."

"This is for Flash! And if it's escaped your notice I'm not Flash."

"Superboy is _still_ not as bad as you are. You probably have a poster of yourself in your room."

"I don't, actually, but I can get you one..."

"Oh, honestly," Artemis said with a roll of her gray eyes, "I don't even know why I try to talk to you sometimes."

"Because of my devilishly good looks, of course."

Artemis rolled her eyes again. "Look, let's just get back to Mount Justice okay? Before I go crazy." As she stalked off Wally could hear her grumble, "... why _I _of all people had to come pick him up. Next time Robin's doing it and I don't care what anyone says..."

Wally grinned and couldn't help but think that maybe Artemis wasn't so bad after all.

**A/N: **Sigh. This was terrible. And if you hadn't noticed this kind of got away from me, especially at the end.

I may just end up deleting this, though I doubt it because it's my seventy-fifth story. Poor Wally and Artemis, they're probably somewhere crying right now because of their OOCness in this story...


End file.
